With his first term coming to a close, incumbent President Charles Smith took time out of his busy schedule of golf and nap-time to sit with us and answer our questions.
Q: Why should the American people elect you as our next president?
A: My stuff is already in the White House. Do you know the cost of moving?
Q: If you are re-elected, what will be the first 2 items on your priority list?
A: A deep tissue massage and getting my face on the quarter. Washington already has the dollar bill, right?
Q: What is your position on the war against terrorism?
A: Downward Dog.
Q: The economy is on everyone’s mind, what ideas do you have to improve the economy?
A: A $500 tax rebate for anyone who voted for me, funded by an additional $1,000 tax increase for those who didn’t.
Q: What do you have to say to the people who didn’t agree with your policies during your first 4 years as president?
A: I know who you are and I know where you live. Don't ever forget that.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
5 Reasons Why You Should Re-elect Me As Your President
- I love this country. I wanted to name my first-born “America” but my wife Cathy refused.
- I believe in liberty and justice for all, regardless of race or creed.
- Creed: an American post-grunge band that became popular in the 1990’s.
- I already live in the White House. Moving out will cost the taxpayers more money. Money which could have been used to fund the construction of a wall on the Mexican border.
- Iway amway ilingualbay.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
On Spirituality
Sometimes we ask ourselves questions that have no answer. They make us feel more spiritual. “Does global warming exist?” and “Is Elvis alive?” are examples of this. A wise man once asked, “If we’re not supposed to eat animals, then why are they made of meat?” I meditate on this often.
Your honorable, patriotic, and good-looking president,
Charles H. Smith
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Candidacy Announcement
October 21, 2009 (
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